Hi friends! You might recall a recent post where I offered some results from a social media survey I conducted concerning who among the many was the biggest dickhead in United States history. Many of you who had not participated were pretty surprised that the King Dickhead of America turned out to be George Custer. I feel your pain, what with the competition and all…Custer seems in the ballpark, but a long-shot nonetheless.
Here’s something else that I probably should have anticipated, but didn’t: glazed-over fanatical ideologues from both sides of the political spectrum will seize any opportunity to ram their political agenda down your throat. The most heinous offenders, in my best estimation, are unfamiliar with the term “dickhead” (such as, the guy who takes up two parking spaces on street-cleaning day) and didn’t read the post anyway – OR – they are so god-damn angry that their brains are about to hemorrhage and they are thus compelled to denounce ObamaClintonBushTrump with the usual (and let’s face it…pretty useless) zeal of an Internet troll. Either way…chill the fuck out people. These surveys were conducted in the spirit of levity.
With all of that out of the way…here are a few more contenders. I may have to conduct another general survey once these settle in.
Corelius Vanderbilt – being a capitalist business magnate might make you an asshole…but adding “Commodore” to your name for no real reason most certainly catapults you to the front of the dickhead line.
Benedict Arnold – a Revolutionary dickhead…he didn’t play well with others and really craved wealth and social status – so much so that he married into a loyalist family during the war, lived well beyond his means, and sold out the Continental Army. Get over yourself, dickhead.
Well…that should round things out a little, and perhaps inspire further contribution. But please, unless you want to prove to be a dickhead yourself – refrain from the political rants.